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~ Cue the church bells~ Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God to join together this man and this woman in Ho- Wait. Hold up. I contest this. ~ Cue To Whom the Bell Tolls ~ Let's back this train up and send the doves to slaughter. This man. This woman. Where was the chivalry before the ring? Before the aisle? Before the audience? I'm not just talking to the groom in this matter. The bride is just as much at fault. Let’s take this back to the beginning.